John Bird (born 22 November, 1936) is a British satirist, actor and comedian.

Born in Nottingham, England, he became well-known during the television satire boom of the 1960s, appearing in That Was The Week That Was. He has also acted straight and comic roles in several television series and in films such as Dick Turpin: Help!: Jabberwocky: The Seven Per Cent Solution: Yellow Pages.

He is best known in the UK for his work with John Fortune and Rory Bremner. In a famous series of sketches (known as 'The Long Johns') one of the Johns plays a politician, businessman or other senior figure and the other interviews them. Their appearances in series such as Bremner, Bird and Fortune have won several awards.

He also stars in the BBC Radio 4 and BBC TWO series Absolute Power with Stephen Fry.